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DEVOTIONAL
A few weeks ago, someone left this comment on one of my reels:
I sat with that question for a long time. Because if I'm honest, I used to believe that too. I thought if I prayed enough, read my Bible enough, healed enough… God would finally say yes to the husband I was asking for. Like spiritual maturity was a coupon I could cash in.
But that's not how God works. And believing it is meant a lot of women stay stuck - either working themselves ragged trying to "earn" a husband, or giving up on growing at all because what's the point if it doesn't guarantee the outcome.
Here's the truth I had to learn the hard way: marriage is not a reward for being good enough. And singleness is not proof that you are forgotten 💗
So Why Pursue God At All?
Not to unlock a husband. Because He is worth pursuing on His own. When your relationship with God is rooted in who He is, not what you want Him to give you, everything else gets steadier.
Jesus said, "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much" (Luke 16:10). That is not a formula for marriage; it’s a principle about faithfulness. You grow in the small, unseen moments… not to unlock a prize, but because that is who you are becoming.
Sometimes God’s quietness isn't Him withholding an answer. It's Him inviting you to grow roots that have nothing to do with the answer at all.
What Faithful Growing Actually Looks Like
I didn't learn any of this from a lesson. I learned it by living through my own single season and looking back afterward to see what God had actually been doing.
1. I stopped pursuing God to get a result, and started pursuing Him because He is worthy.
For a long time, my prayers were quietly transactional, even when I didn't realize it. “God, if I do this right, will You send him faster?” But somewhere in my single season, that shifted.
I kept showing up to my faith even when I had no idea if a husband was coming at all. I was reading the Word, praying, growing - not because I was cashing in a coupon, but because I had come to actually know God and yearned for more of Him.
The psalmist wrote, "Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you" (Psalm 73:25).That verse isn't about earning marriage. It's about becoming faithful in the small, unseen moments of your life, simply because that is who you are choosing to be.
2. I let God heal things I had been hoping a husband would fix.
During my single season, four different exes reached out to me within two weeks. It felt like a test. The old version of me would have entertained every single one, hoping one of them had changed…
Instead, I let that season reveal exactly what I was still carrying. I wrote letters to each of them (that I never sent!), started in gratitude, moved through honesty, ended in release. I did that work before I ever met my husband, because I knew he was not meant to walk in and repair wounds that were mine to bring to God first.
If you are carrying something similar right now, this is your invitation to do that work now, while you have the space and the time to do it slowly and honestly.
3. I built a full life instead of waiting for permission to enjoy mine.
I spent 21 months out of work, in one of the hardest seasons of my adult life. I could have shrunk into waiting mode. Instead, I started reading business and personal development books, trained at the gym, started building what would eventually lead me to She Waits Well.
None of it was because I thought it would speed up my husband's arrival. It was because I refused to let my life sit on pause while I waited for someone else to make it feel full. That season built the woman my husband actually met 💗
4. I prayed specifically and boldly, then physically opened my hands.
I made a Christ-centered vision board with an American flag, a ring, a house, and placed it right by my bed. I fasted. I prayed with more honesty than I ever had…
And then, after asking clearly, I released my grip on when and how it would happen. Galatians 6:9 says, "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." That verse never promised me a date. It promised me a harvest, in its own proper time, if I stayed faithful while I waited.
You Are Not Behind
You are not failing a test you didn't know you were taking. You are becoming faithful with the season, the heart, and the life God has already trusted you with right now.
That is enough. That was always enough.
If this season has you asking what it actually looks like to build a full life, heal old wounds, and grow into the woman your future marriage needs - without turning your faith into a transaction - that is exactly what I walk you through in From Believing to Becoming.
It's the 5* rated guide I wish I had during my own single season, and it's helped women move from desperate waiting into purposeful growing. You can grab it here 👇
🙏 Let’s finish with a closing prayer 🙏
Heavenly Father. Thank You, for every season You have carried me through, even the ones where I didn't understand what You were doing. Thank You for being worthy of my pursuit, regardless of what You choose to give me. Forgive me for the times I have treated You like a vending machine instead of my God. Heal what I have been quietly asking a husband to fix. Help me build a full life today, and give me the faith to pray boldly while trusting Your timing completely. In Jesus' name, amen.
With love and faith,
Zena